My Precious Little Cancer Sticks

So my little brother almost cried today when I lit up in front of him. He begged me to stop spouting out how I could get addicted and die of cancer and blah blah blah. I wanted to yell at him SHUT THE FUCK UP! I ALREADY AM ADDICTED! But in a calm voice I reassured him that no, I'm not addicted. So I smoked the last two in my pack, showed it to him, and told him I was done. I promised him I was done. Now I'm regretting it because I could really use one right now. (Even though that was only 30 minutes ago.) So tell me, why did I decide to quit again? Oh right, my little 9 year-old brother basically had a panic attack about it.........So where do I start? How the hell do I survive without them? They were the only drug I've been permitting myself lately. I guess if I do go into a residential treatment center I'd have to quit anyways so what does it matter?